Lupita Nyong’o talks about how strange the rumors about her are. Ellen can relate.
LISTEN UP MOTHER FUCKERS
ITS CALLED WOLFRAM ALPHA
THIS IS THE BEST GODDAMN WEBSITE FOR ACADEMIC SHIT. FUCK GOOGLE.
THIS MOTHERFUCKER WILL LET YOU SEARCH “HOSPITAL BEDS IN CHAD VS. IRAN”
AND IT GIVES YOU A STRAIGHT GODDAMN ANSWER
MAYBE YOU’RE NOT INTERESTED IN DOCTORNESS OF THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES COOL SHIT
HAVING TROUBLE WITH MATH?
OR MAYBE YOU WANNA DICK AROUND
WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT
In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:
- Public speaking
- Not being afraid of teenagers
- Calling the doctor yourself
- Arguing without crying
- Having a normal sleep pattern
- Having an answer to the question ‘what do you want to do with your life?’